The Land of Ice and Snow

Once upon a time, there was a terrible land called the land of ice and snow. In the land of ice and snow, the sun never came out and it never stopped raining. The normal people were afraid to leave their homes because outside lurked the Birkenstock-wearing, dread-lock-having, happy-thoughts-cure-cancer, stuck-in-the-60's hippies. They were terrifying. The Land of Ice and Snow was ruled by and eeeeevil dictator, who in addition to banning the sun also banned coffee from the bears, especially European coffee. The evil dictator denied anyone living in the land of ice and snow access to the outside world. He did this by causing all the dragons used for transportation to be perpetually late. This way you could rarely get where you were going on time, if at all. The people living in the land of ice and snow were fed up to here with not being able to leave to feed their bears coffee. They sent multiple letters to the land of sunshine and happiness, and to their corespondents, the Greeks and the Irish. But the Greeks and the Irish were feuding in a great war, and thus had no gold left in their treasuries to use to save Barb and Tru-D, two of the people suffering most of the ailments that come from living in this dreaded land. So, the coffee deprived people of the land and ice and snow banded together. Edna, the leader of the deprived, called a meeting of all those with starving bears. The people yelled. They cried, the argued about the coffee and the dictator! Finally they decided something must be done. One brave soul named lower frank purposed that instead of the dragons, we build and enormous magical flying machine that could carry them all to the land of sunshine and happiness. So they began construction. There was much grueling labor, torment, sweat and toil put into the making of the magical flying machine. It was tough. They had to think happy thoughts, which is hard to do when you've got an angry bear on your hands. Finally they finished the magic flying machine. The Greeks and the Irish rejoiced and made peace. They formed a welcome party for Barb and Tru-Ds return. There was much celebrating, and much coffee, and all were happy.

The End

DISCLAIMER: no drugs were abused in the making of this story, just a lot of coffee deprivation. It'll drive you to do weird shihhh. This is your warning. Feed your bear coffee, for the love of all that is good and holy.

Thank You

Tru-D